fromstylingtobaking

Before you, I was tough.
Before you, I was strong.
Before you, I was dominant.
Before you, I was rough.

You entered my life unexpectedly.
Because of you, my entire life was altered.
The world before you is no longer one I recognise.
You entirely reframed what love is.

My many, many weaknesses are clear to you.
My harsh exterior is visible to you.
I let my emotions run wild, and you saw it.
And yet, you still loved me.

Your gaze on me is beautiful.
I adore the time spent with you.
I adore the idea of a future with you.
I don’t want what I have with you with anyone else.

Even when you are thousands of miles away
You have a way of putting a smile on my face.
I love how you make me feel special
I love how you make me feel cared for.

I remain my colourful self,
but when I’m around you,
I’m softer and more delicate.
For you, that’s how I want to be.
Today, tomorrow, and forever.

Do not do a favour expecting more ˹in return˺.
Surah Al-Muddaththir, Verse 6

I get this now. Kecewa berharap pada manusia.

Ketika hatimu terlalu berharap kepada seseorang, maka Allah timpakan ke atas kamu pedihnya sebuah pengharapan. Supaya kamu mengetahui bahawa Allah sangat mencemburui hati yang berharap selain DIA. Maka Allah menghalangimu dari perkara tersebut agar kamu kembali berharap kepadaNYA. – Iman Syafi’i

A hard, heavy lesson for me today. الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ عَلَى كُلِّ حَال

We plan, and Allah plans. Indeed, He is THE best of planners. Allahul Musta’an.

I honestly don’t know what to write sometimes, but I don’t want to give up on this blog. It’s a place for me to pour my heart out, so I will keep on trying, on keeping it alive. So this entry is just one of those random entries where I am just going to write whatever that is going through my mind.
I am overwhelmed with an ongoing, over-pouring blessings from The Almighty. الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ الَّذِي بِنِعْمَتِهِ تَتِمُّ الصَّالِحَاتُ

I was listening to a talk on, “Stop chasing the world, so it will have no choice to come running to you”. It’s just a translation as the talk was in Bahasa. It basically talked about, It’s when your mission is to do everything for your Rabb, the world will come to you. Your rizq will come to you. I pray that He will bless me with His hidayah and rahmah, so I can be a better muslimah in general…and be more concern about my akhirah, then my dunya.

There are days I will feel like I haven’t done enough to deserve all these blessings, but on the good days, I will take this as another blessing that He has showered me with, having that feeling of not good enough, wanting to do more for me is already a blessing on its own. But then a dear friend told me that Allah gives whenever He wants to, He doesn’t need a reason. ‎الله أكبر‬

It’s truly amazing when Allah blesses you with something beyond your imagination, He makes you instantly forget about all the hardships and heartbreaks, it’s now all a distant memory from another lifetime. Suddenly, it’s all about ‎الحمد لله‎ Allah made it so easy. ‎سبحان الله‎‬ ‎الله أكبر‬

I have been under tremendous stress this past few months. Yes, it’s always about work. I’m praying for a sign from Allah – to be guided into making a decision on what’s going to happen to my business. I think I have made it known that we have been struggling – even more so after Covid.

I have tried all the ways i can think of on how to make more sales, pull in more traffic – popups, discounts – you name it. Maybe it’s not enough or maybe I just haven’t exhaust enough ways to make this work. It’s heartbreaking and i’m torn.

I’m trying to change my ways and improve myself, personally and spiritually. I hate the fact that i am constantly worrying and stressing out about money. I wrote this here before in my previous post – I may sound unambitious when i say this, but I no longer want the same things i want 10 or 5 years ago. I no longer want the shop everywhere, as I no longer want the stress and headache that comes with it.

I want to be able to have flexible time to spend on family, and classes to improve my knowledge in Islam. I want to have time to practice my Arabic, more time to read the Quran.

So I really don’t mind if we go back to taking orders, and making an automated product that people will keep looking for. A lot of money has gone to the renovation etc, but I feel like I’m taking a bit too much that what i can chew. It’s not easy, it really is not.

May Allah guide me into making the right decision. Ameen!

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh. It’s been awhile since i last wrote here. Life happened. I was travelling, infected with covid, busy with the biz and was just not in the mood to write anything.

Life has been super challenging for me this last year, financially, mentally, physically and spritually. It has been one nauseous roller coaster ride.

Last month marked a whole year of me wearing niqab, and it has been tough, If I’m being honest. Adjusting life with niqab needs commitment alright, from the littlest thing like adjusting how you eat, I still struggle with it until today. LOL. Getting better at it, but still struggling.

I’m still lacking in so many aspects, I mean, I don’t expect to be perfect, but I do pray that Allah makes my heart firm on His religion. Being steadfast is hard – SUPER HARD. But I know and I believe that if we leave something for Allah, He will be on our side and that’s all that really matters, innit?

I pray that Allah berikan hidayah dan rahmahNya kepada kita semua untuk Istiqamah dalam mengejar syurgaNya. Ameen!

Assalamualaikum Warahmatullah Wabarakatuh.